Why I No Longer Send Really Nice Gifts to the Bride and Groom
One thing in their favor: at least they sent a thank-you note. My receiving average is about 33% on that score. And to think I wrote over 250 hand-written notes. Both times.
We did receive one of our career-best bridal thank-you's last month from one of Dave's friend's daughter. She addressed us by name, mentioned the gift, expressed her enthusiasm for it (and it was merely a Target gift card--the wedding was far away) so much that she made us feel as if we'd done something really nice for her. We put our thank-you notes up on our refrigerator door to enjoy the notes. That one stayed up for a long time, as do the notes from my family.
I realize I sound a bit of a freak on this thank-you note business. Yep, certifiably so. I inherited it from my great-grandmother who was English and proper and had beautiful gardens. I'm willing to spot those who are unable to get them out everytime; my own personal batting average is far short of a hundred percent.
I guess I'm really railing about the lack of thoughtfulness on the part of much of the current crop of Brides-and-Grooms. They do the bit about being clever enough to include their registry information in their wedding invitations (horrors! don't even make me go there) making sure I know where to pick up their gifts and what they'd like. I have laughed at some of them, especially the ones who list television sets and high-priced items, better left for a shower hostess to coordinate.
I used to try and give a betrothed couple a plate from their china, or their everyday setting. I remember my china plate given to me by my piano teacher, Mrs. Shakes among others. I remember my mother when I use my silver, my now-deceased Aunt Ellen when I get out the Lenox platter. My sister's in-laws, the Pettys, gave me a beautiful cut-crystal pitcher, perfect for a small gathering. My sister brought a lacy tablecloth from Italy.
What will this generation of bridal couples remember? Stocking up on stockings at Target? Picking up plastic plates from Bed, Bath and Beyond? The memories of their wedding and wedding guests will fade as those things wear out. I suppose that's the way of this world, now: disposable, tossable, renewable, recyclable, impersonal.
Why should their thank-you notes be any different?
I realize I sound a bit of a freak on this thank-you note business. Yep, certifiably so. I inherited it from my great-grandmother who was English and proper and had beautiful gardens. I'm willing to spot those who are unable to get them out everytime; my own personal batting average is far short of a hundred percent.
I guess I'm really railing about the lack of thoughtfulness on the part of much of the current crop of Brides-and-Grooms. They do the bit about being clever enough to include their registry information in their wedding invitations (horrors! don't even make me go there) making sure I know where to pick up their gifts and what they'd like. I have laughed at some of them, especially the ones who list television sets and high-priced items, better left for a shower hostess to coordinate.
I used to try and give a betrothed couple a plate from their china, or their everyday setting. I remember my china plate given to me by my piano teacher, Mrs. Shakes among others. I remember my mother when I use my silver, my now-deceased Aunt Ellen when I get out the Lenox platter. My sister's in-laws, the Pettys, gave me a beautiful cut-crystal pitcher, perfect for a small gathering. My sister brought a lacy tablecloth from Italy.
What will this generation of bridal couples remember? Stocking up on stockings at Target? Picking up plastic plates from Bed, Bath and Beyond? The memories of their wedding and wedding guests will fade as those things wear out. I suppose that's the way of this world, now: disposable, tossable, renewable, recyclable, impersonal.
Why should their thank-you notes be any different?
3 comments:
right on
My mother taught me at a young age to write them. I got all mine written before we left for Switzerland, with the internet now I made a spreadsheet with names and gift. I remember you gave us our first gift, a few settings of our flatware. Thanks again, I can't wait until it arrives from storage!
OK, I sure hope I sent you a Thank you note:)
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